Assalamualaikum and Hello!
Today, well not only today, it has been quite a long time actually. I perasan that I likely to become other person when I reach here. I want to live up to others expectation. I get annoyed and envy easily when I see my friends are prettier than me, have lots friends than me, many people cares about them than towards me and other things that superior than me.
I wonder how this things get to me when I can absolutely (at least I think so) be myself when I am at my own home. Yes, it may occur due to environment. Too many sparkling friends that I assume myself only as a glass. Or is it just that I have low self esteem. Or is that I have some scary psychological problem. Okay not that scary, sorry.
Tak best tau hidup macam ni. Tak best rasa jealous ni. Tak enjoy hidup dengan envy ni.
Whenever I think I have this feeling, I always said to myself, she prays more than me, he diligent and give much efforts to become like that. I had once asked to my kakak, and macam biasa i got that ayat "everybody is different. They are good in what they good and they are bad with what the have flaws on" It did heals me on that time but once I forget those phrase, I become like this.
And whenever I wrote a blog post about these depressing moments, I realise that aku tak cukup lagi beribadat dengan Allah. Aku tak cukup lagi doa.
Just want to share my piece of mind. Because sharing do helps me get better. But to find that one special person is not that easy. Thus technology become the substitute. Yeah.
Assalamualaikum.
